Don't freak out, I am not going anywhere. It has been one interesting month that had a lot of different good byes and I thought it might be worth sharing them.
If you read my last Blog, you read about one type of good bye, the mourning, grieving extreme loss good bye but I also said good bye to my classmates in the intern program at the hospital. This was a different type of good bye and one that I was not and still are not comfortable with. This good bye required me to think that once again a person or a group of people that I have become close to will be out of my life. Like I said, I don't handle this type of good bye well.
This group was the first group of strangers that I became close to in a long time. Through this process I learned that it requires a lot of ourselves in order to get a close relationship but it also takes a lot of ourselves to let that go and trust that all will be okay in the universe. I know that it may sound funny but this was a great revelation for me. Why? It was not my practice to show my "soft" side or put ANYTHING on my sleeve. I have learned that sometimes it is good to do that even when you know that someday you might have to say good bye to that person you trusted it is better to have had that relationship for a short time then not to have had it all. I know you have all heard that before but it is different when you actually experience the emotions involved in this experience.
My finial thoughts are this, don't limit potentially great experiences just because of the fear of that experience ending.
Thanks to Bob, Heather and Sue who were the Interns I had the pleasure of serving with. May our God bless all of you with success, health and love.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
wow, WOW!!!!
That is the words I heard today as a father dealt with the death of his daughter's fiancee'.
What an opening line uh? Well that was the kind of day I had today. I spent 3 hours with a family that had to say good bye to their 22 year old son, brother, fiance', father, friend.
This was to date, the most emotional experience I have had as a Pastor or Chaplain.
The lessons? The need? I don't know yet, this is what I do know. Our God is perfect in ALL things, He is always on time, He is always loving, He is all knowing. I had to remind myself of that as I watched this beautiful 2o year old draped over the body of her fiancee' trying to make sense of it all, what she was going to do with rest of her life, to see her parents helpless as they watch her cry the cry you never want to see your child cry. That cry that you can't comfort, you can't stop, you can't make better.
As she cried out to her love telling him that they had so much more to do, that the house still needed to be brought, the wedding is almost here, the honeymoon is planned. The kids they had talked about and wanted so badly weren't here yet.
As she kisses his face again and again and wondering how she is ever going to be able to love again as she so desperately tries to understand what is happening you feel as helpless as I am sure those who watched our Lord be crucified must have felt. My heart broke for her, for her family, for all the things that might have been.
As this chapter closed and the families left the hospital, the body is taken away I leave and wonder what to do. I decided to go to the other side of the hospital, far away from the Emergency Department and I get a chocolate milk shake and try to find some comfort. I am walking through the hall and I turn the corner and there it is, a nurse pushing a bassinet with a few hour old baby, beautifully pink, wrapped so tight and securely in a pink blanket. Then I think wow, WOW what a beautiful God I serve.
Blessings to all and may all of you have peace, health and love.
Pastor Mike
What an opening line uh? Well that was the kind of day I had today. I spent 3 hours with a family that had to say good bye to their 22 year old son, brother, fiance', father, friend.
This was to date, the most emotional experience I have had as a Pastor or Chaplain.
The lessons? The need? I don't know yet, this is what I do know. Our God is perfect in ALL things, He is always on time, He is always loving, He is all knowing. I had to remind myself of that as I watched this beautiful 2o year old draped over the body of her fiancee' trying to make sense of it all, what she was going to do with rest of her life, to see her parents helpless as they watch her cry the cry you never want to see your child cry. That cry that you can't comfort, you can't stop, you can't make better.
As she cried out to her love telling him that they had so much more to do, that the house still needed to be brought, the wedding is almost here, the honeymoon is planned. The kids they had talked about and wanted so badly weren't here yet.
As she kisses his face again and again and wondering how she is ever going to be able to love again as she so desperately tries to understand what is happening you feel as helpless as I am sure those who watched our Lord be crucified must have felt. My heart broke for her, for her family, for all the things that might have been.
As this chapter closed and the families left the hospital, the body is taken away I leave and wonder what to do. I decided to go to the other side of the hospital, far away from the Emergency Department and I get a chocolate milk shake and try to find some comfort. I am walking through the hall and I turn the corner and there it is, a nurse pushing a bassinet with a few hour old baby, beautifully pink, wrapped so tight and securely in a pink blanket. Then I think wow, WOW what a beautiful God I serve.
Blessings to all and may all of you have peace, health and love.
Pastor Mike
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
OH BOY.....
Well, it has happened.
I am officially an "old man", why?
My son, Michael just received his learners permit and is now driving!!!
I really never thought that I would get effected by this but now that it has happened it is a little odd. I never thought about getting old enough to actually be teaching one of my kids to drive.
This has not only made me think about my position as a father but also as a man old enough to have kids that drive. It also made me think that now my son is even in more of a position to get hurt or even killed as well as being in a position of responsibility and trust. I never really thought that so many different things would be going on in my head ( and heart) over something like getting a permit!!
Then I think, Jesus in a sense got His permit, when he rode into town on the donkey!! Its a stretch I know but if you think about it. That was a key time and change in Jesus' future as a leader, teacher and as Lord. I can't imagine how His family must have felt when they saw all that was happening to their "son" as I am about to watch my son change into a young man who I continually pray will learn what a man is to be and try to do all that he can to demonstrate God's love for him to all those who he loves and will come into contact with.
To all who read this, my prayers are with you and your families for health, happiness, peace and most of all love.
Blessings.
I am officially an "old man", why?
My son, Michael just received his learners permit and is now driving!!!
I really never thought that I would get effected by this but now that it has happened it is a little odd. I never thought about getting old enough to actually be teaching one of my kids to drive.
This has not only made me think about my position as a father but also as a man old enough to have kids that drive. It also made me think that now my son is even in more of a position to get hurt or even killed as well as being in a position of responsibility and trust. I never really thought that so many different things would be going on in my head ( and heart) over something like getting a permit!!
Then I think, Jesus in a sense got His permit, when he rode into town on the donkey!! Its a stretch I know but if you think about it. That was a key time and change in Jesus' future as a leader, teacher and as Lord. I can't imagine how His family must have felt when they saw all that was happening to their "son" as I am about to watch my son change into a young man who I continually pray will learn what a man is to be and try to do all that he can to demonstrate God's love for him to all those who he loves and will come into contact with.
To all who read this, my prayers are with you and your families for health, happiness, peace and most of all love.
Blessings.
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